HURT/Stupid Party vs. Evil Party

I hate to break it to you, House Republicans, but nobody cares who you pick as the leader of your silly little club. So just pick the next idiot and get on with your job.

How easy does it have to be? You don’t even have to pick someone from the ranks of the blithering morons in Congress.

Just walk out to Independence Avenue, flag down the first cab going by, and haul the driver into the House chamber and make him speaker of the House.

OK, OK. So you people have somehow managed to screw up every corner of this country and the cabdriver you just hauled in off the street doesn’t speak English. Then just grab the passenger from the back seat of the cab and make her speaker of the House.

I mean, Dennis Hastert did this job. Hakeem Jeffries could do this job. If they could do it, just about anybody could do it.

President Biden could probably do this job. Vice President Kamala Harris already does this job in the Senate. OK, maybe Mr. Biden would screw it up, but he screws everything up.

America is bankrupt and sits on the precipice of catastrophe, and you guys are squabbling like children over something nobody cares about.

We have an invasion of terrorists at the border. Government-funded inflation has spiked consumer prices to the highest point in two generations. Gas prices are already high and once again on the march skyward.

And again, America is bankrupt — $33 trillion in debt — and you clowns are still printing money.

In the last election, American voters put the “good guys” in charge to start solving these problems. Unfortunately, the “good guys” also happen to be the Stupid Party. Sadly, it is still an improvement over the evil and dishonest alternative.

Now comes House Majority Leader Steve Scalise, the latest sacrificial offering to be speaker of the House. This is great news because it allows Republicans to spend the next year reminding voters how an extremist Democrat radicalized by Sen. Bernie Sanders tried to assassinate Mr. Scalise and as many other Republican lawmakers as he could find.

If the past is any measure, though, Republicans will somehow screw this up, too.

Mr. Scalise is already doing his part. Apparently, America’s broken border, gas prices, inflation and the looming threat of China are not enough to get Congress to grow up and start working. But you know what is?

The horrifying, despicable terrorist attacks by Hamas in Israel halfway around the world. Mr. Scalise announced this week that his very first priority if he gets elected to lead the clown show in Washington will be to reiterate our allegiance to Israel.

All well and good, especially since American citizens were killed and an unknown number of American hostages are being held by Hamas savages. But where exactly do Americans have to get in line to have their government address the problems facing them every day?

Israel’s security and prosperity are certainly important, but not as important or urgent to Americans as America’s security and prosperity.

Charles Hurt is the opinion editor of the Washington Times.